6 Traits of Amazing Mentors (and why you need one)

Over the past 5 years I’ve been a part of two different mastermind groups, in both I’ve found an amazing group of people committed to the betterment of each other person in the group.

That’s not the only thing in common between the two groups.

We serve as mentors for one and other. These folks care more about being kind (willing to point out “the good”, “the bad” and the “what the heck?”) than being nice (for the sake of avoiding creative conflict and therefore growth).  Being in the group is at times a little intense and uncomfortable but worth the scrutiny.

We challenge each other to. . .

• Ferret out the very best ideas out of all the ones we dream up.
• To see failures as a temporary, if a wee painful, experience from which there is something useful (won’t do that again, but will do this).
• To give credit where it’s due and take credit when it is due.
• To walk in time to our own drums and welcome others to join the journey. 
• To be let work or life or both be uncomfortable and messy when they are  uncomfortable and messy.
• And to sometimes to just keep moving forward.

I ask you, who could not use a person or group of people like that in their life?

Mentors Help Us Be Our Best Selves

Good mentors understand the difference between inspiring guidance and the ability to coerce others to "do-what-I-say". They set an example by using their best traits to direct their efforts and their tribes. They set a pace and will nudge you forward, if you let them.

And the very best mentors share 6 traits. I see these in my mastermind groups and the other amazing mentors I’ve had.

6 Traits of Amazing Mentors

Passionate and Clear Point of View. A distinct voice and viewpoint that they passionately embrace without coming off crazed. They know why they do what they do and it shows.  

Mindful Listening. A world-class ability to listen deeply, they hear what you don't say, as much as what you do say. They notice your feelings and thoughts and catch the nuances - even when you are on the phone. They don't judge and help you make sense of what's going on in your head, heart and gut.    

Honesty. They carry a suitcase of integrity at all times. What they say is true. How they act aligns with what they say are their values. They say what needs to be said, especially when it is hard, to spur deep learning and effective action.  

Zest. They expect the best and confidently work to make that the case. They enthusiastically embody a "you can do it, it can be even better" attitude that spreads to those around them. It's not a put on - it is part of who they are.  

Warm Regard for Others. They genuinely care about what they do and the people in their lives, including their teams. They consistently find small ways to let this show without being sappy. They hold people accountable in the spirit of compassion and what they see as the potential being missed.    

Modesty without Undervaluing. Self-assured without being a blowhard or devaluing what they have to offer they confidently step back and find ways to help others shine.

So are you an amazing mentor? Have you seen these same traits in your best mentors?